Fresh off of graduating from internal medicine residency and before starting my fellowship in Pulmonary & Critical Care Medicine, I met someone at a social function who turned out to be another physician. After exchanging the customary greetings, we sized up one another’s work credentials, as typical healthcare workers do. The most frequent reactions I get to hearing about my specialty, range from confusion (more often from people who don’t have friends or family who are healthcare workers and therefore don’t understand what an intensivist is or does), to some degree of admiration. So I was taken aback by the reaction of this particular person (a stranger at the time, a woman in a highly desired and competitive “life-style” specialty. Think R-O-A-D to success, otherwise known as radiology, ophthalmology, anesthesia, or dermatology), who immediately said upon hearing my specialty training plans, “Wow, you made a huge mistake. That’s a terrible choice for a woman.”
I remember being extremely hurt and offended at the time, and for a long time after (despite which, we have become quite close and see each other regularly. She’s a wonderful person.).
To be fair, I feel enormous pride in what I’ve accomplished in my career. Despite my complex and complicated feelings about medicine, I know I am a good doctor. I know I bring tremendous value to my place of work, my multi-disciplinary team, my learners, and provide high quality and compassionate care to my patients and their families.
So while I feel fairly conflicted, I look at where I am today, and the overwhelming feeling of being stuck professionally with nowhere to go, and can’t help but wonder if she was right all along.